"What did you say? I don’t speak sputnik.”

Josh and I get into an argument at a minimum of five times a day. Whereas Brandon and Nelly’s fights only happen once a month, IF WE’RE LUCKY! And when they do…. Oh my god – we just die laughing!!! There's so many more funny lines but this is all Josh and I can remember....

B: “Why don’t you drive your own ass home? Oh wait, you don’t have a car. And if you did, it wouldn’t have a title”

N: What’s that? I can’t hear what you’re saying through your lisp!

B: Like I care what you think!!!! You can’t even speak English! I have a bigger IQ than you, I have more money than you…… but you know what I don’t have more of? Zits. Exactly how many zits do you have on your face?? Why don’t you eat some potatos and cabbage.

N: Whatever! I’m fine with being Russian because it means that I’m skinny UNLIKE AMERICANS!! Do you want another hamburger?

B: Go have some vodka!

N: Do you want some fries?

B: Why don’t you go date your rich ex-boyfriends again. He gave you his credit card and look, you have nothing to show for it!! Why? It’s called fiscal responsibility. You have none!!

N: And you do? What the hell do you have?

B: A college education!!

N: And what did that get you?? A job at a car dealership?

B: Yeah, and a Multiple Entry Visa. (Nelly can’t get a multiple entry visa because she doesn’t have a degree)

N: What’s that? I can’t hear past the stds on your face!

B: What’s that? I can’t hear past the acne on your face. You know, when you get those bumps on your crotch, it’s not called acne, it’s called herpes.

N: At least I can see my crotch!! When was the last time you could see past your stomach?!?