Yeah, all Chinese people have had 12 years (or more) of English classes from the public schools but seriously NO ONE speaks English. Other than our school’s employees, we pretty much NEVER meet anyone that can muster anything other than “hallo” “haw ah youuuu?” “you ahhh beautiful” and MAYBE numbers 1-5. The one great thing about this is that we get to have incredibly inappropriate conversations in public places. You wouldn’t believe how fun it is for Nelly and me to loudly discuss sex stories while two old ladies are sitting between us on a packed bus. The only real problem about doing this is that we’ve gotten waaaaaaaay to used to doing it and I’m sure when we’re back in America we’re going to slip up A LOT. Like in Hong Kong – EVERYONE speaks excellent English there (because it’s not really china) and there are loads of foreigners but we still always forget and end up embarrassing ourselves.
Nelly: Ryan is so hot!! I would TOTALLY swallow his cum!
Josh: we’ve been together for two years and you won’t even give me head!
Nelly: I TOLD YOU! Shave your ball afro and I will!
Mariel: He still doesn’t?! you’re such an inconsiderate jerk – she shaves everything for you!
Nelly: You should see his bush – it’s huge! Like enormous. I sweartogod his ball hair is four inches long!
Mariel: Oh. My. God. I didn’t know that ball hair could get that long!! GROSS!
At this very moment I looked over and two white guys were standing three feet away and laughing at us.
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On a bus:
Josh: Condoms make your dick so gross! Have you ever given a guy head after he blew a load in a condom?
Mariel: No!
Nelly: have you?!
Josh: NO! Well, I don’t know if it smells as bad as it tastes but….
Mariel, Brandon, Nelly: HAAAAAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
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