Riding in buses with Chinese People

Ummmmm, riding in a Chinese bus is worse than what I imagine waterboarding must be like.

Most Chinese people don’t bathe everyday and NONE of them wash their clothes often enough or wear deodorant which makes the buss’s air almost unbearable on a hot day. It smells like urine, BO and rotting balls.

Chinese busses have 10 single seats in the front and 12 double seats in the back. Even though there are 12 seats in the back, you pretty much NEVER see more than 6 people sitting. Even on super crowded busses where there are 25 people crammed in and standing, NO ONE that has one of those double seats will let someone sit next to them. They always put their bag or jacket on the seat next to them and refuse to move it. WHY?!?!?!

Have I mentioned how Chinese people speak (I mean yell) on their phones? Ok, so picture ten Chinese people (definitely including the driver) screaming into their phones at all times on a bus.

Almost all Chinese busses have radios. The bus wont have shocks or well functioning breaks, but it’ll have a radio AND loud ass speakers. Do you know what Chinese pop music sounds like? Like I said: waterboarding.

We’ve stopped offering our seats to old people and pregnant women. No one else does it and the person never accepts it anyway.

Babies. Peeing on the floor. On the bus. Everywhere.
And then there’s the constant Puking. But that’s everywhere in China.

Bus drivers drive me crazy. They’re always on their phone and driving super erratically (probably part of the reason why there’s always so many pukers on the bus). They also pull over to take breaks or buy lottery tickets and cigarettes whenever they feel like it too.

There is one thing about Chinese busses that I LOVE. When someone gets out of their seat to leave, a person that wants to sit down will stand near the empty seat and every ten seconds or so they will touch the seat with their hand (GROSS) and after a minute or so, they’ll sit down. I asked my friends why Chinese people always do this and it’s because they think that if they sit in a warm seat, they’ll get a disease so they have to wait until the seat has cooled off. Yeah, really. Seriously 100% of people believe this. The great thing about this is that it’s really easy to steal open seats. Nelly and I love to shove past the waiting crazy person (shoving is totally ok in china) and just sit down. No one has ever said anything to us because they think we didn’t know that they were just waiting for the diseases to disappear AND they don’t speak any English anyway. It’s awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!