Thank you gay nigga!!

There's a SUPER GAY Filipino guy that works at our school named Allen. When I first met him, I tried really hard to make him my new, gay bff because 1) I've always wanted a gay bff and 2) it seemed like he had no friends except for our psycho boss Tina. All the foreigners and Chinese staff hated him! But then, I learned why. He's a tattler!!! Tina (our super evil, bitchie boss) has Allen in her pocket. If we said anything negative about the school, our jobs or China in the vicinity of Allen, we knew that Tina was going to immediately find out about it. And he lied constantly to us! When we first started at our school, Tina and Allen had us doing retarded amounts of extra work because they said that it was part of our jobs. Then, we found out from the other foreign teachers that we were being lied to. I could go on ALL DAY about how badly he f'ed us over.


Ok, so Allen is Filipino, right? Every single Filipino I've ever met (I've been to the Philippines) speaks perfect, American-sounding English: but not allen. I have 12 year old Chinese kids in my classes with significantly better English than him- which definitely isn’t saying much. He’s nearly impossible to understand and his lisp and flamboyantly gay voice doesn’t help his cause. Anyway, he has a lot of weird phrases like “What time it is?” and “already I told her” but our favorite one is: “Thank you for that” – he says it ALL THE TIME and in a super gay way. Like hundreds of times a day! So of course, we all started saying it constantly. One time during a school promotion, Brandon and josh had the microphone and they said “thank you for that” at the end of every sentence right in front of allen (who didn’t notice). Nelly and I almost peed our pants.

So, in Chinese class one time, Josh asked how to say “thank you for that” in Chinese. Melon (our teacher and best friend) wrote on the board: “thank you” = “xia xia” “for” = “gay” and “that” = “nigga.” So, “XiaXia gay nigga.” We had to stop class because none of us could stop laughing.

So, for the past 8 months, we have been saying “gay nigga” constantly. We say “sorry gay nigga,” “I love you gay nigga,” “I'm hungry gay nigga.” We think we’re so funny!