It's really hard teaching English in China. So, what's it like?

Brandon, Nelly, Josh and I have been in Foshan China working for a Chinese-owned English training center for both children and adults for nine months now. Here's the dealio:

Getting the job was super easy. Schools in Mainland China don't care about your lack of teaching qualifications. They don't care about your criminal background as a convicted rapist or pedophile. They don't care that you never graduated from high school. It doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic. And they don't care if your first language isn't English. There's only one thing that matters: that you're white. They want blonde teachers with blue or green eyes. That's the ideal. They'll settle for brunettes but if you have black hair – good luck. If you're Black or Asian, it's going to be nearly impossible for you to find a teaching job making a fair amount of money even if you're a legitimate, certified teacher.
Once you have the job, you almost always have to sign a contract. This is because the Chinese company (schools are companies here) wants to be able to treat you like absolute crap without having to worry about you quitting. See, the contract allows the school to hold a percentage of your paycheck every month and then at the end of the contract (most contracts are for ten or twelve months), they're supposed to return it to you as a reward for staying until the end. Nice bonus: they pay you your own money that you've already earned. Brandon, Josh, Nelly and I are all in a ten-month contract from September until June 30th. Its been the longest ten months of my life.

The arguing and fighing is constant. Our company HATES us: they're used to idiot teachers that just bend over and take it but we've been fighting back with almost everything. We're not asking for anything other than for them to follow the contract!! We just want to be paid for overtime hours, paid on time, given our housing/gym allowance, given our cell phones as promised, given access to showers that have at least warm water in the freezing winter, and paid on the last day of our contracts rather than a month later like they're proposing.

As for the students, I bet you're imagining adorable, big-cheeked, disciplined, respectful kids because that's what I pictured before I came to China. So, picture this: super dirty, loud, rude, violent, spitting/coughing, BRATS that won't listen to a thing you say. That's what we have. Yes, most of the girls are super sweet (although still crazy dirty) but it's hard to focus on them when the rest of the class is so evil.

And we don't even make good money here!!! Our pay has increased from 7,000 rmb to 9,500rmb over the past nine months. I know, pathetic. I used to make double working at a non-profit! But the good thing is that the cost of living is next to nothing. Our school provides free housing and utilities so our only real expense is food (which is between $1.-$3./meal) and traveling.

“This sounds terrible?! Why do you stay?” I knowwww, and the worst part is… you have to live in China too!! So why have I stayed? One reason: Brandon. Yes, he's miserable here too but he has wanted to stay because of the money. I know, it's dogshit money but because of the low cost of living (and the lack of anything worth buying), he has been able to save more money than he ever has before. At least he knows that he owes me (BIGTIME) for staying here with him!
PS- I know this is a terribly-written post. I'm Drunk!!!