It's really hard watching Chinese people eat.

I told brandon that I'm drawing the line: no more eating with chinese people. That's it - I can't handle it anymore. I mean, come on, my weiner dog has better table manners!!

So, first of all, they chew and talk with their mouths open - always. it's not considered rude in China. You've never seen anything like this. The smacking sound is SO LOUD and food falls and falls and falls out of their mouths. They're worse than a two year old: I'm not exagerating!! And when they talk to you, little pieces fly out - SO GROSS!!!!!!!!! It's extra bad too because of the shit they eat too. They don't eat normal things like salads or pasta or even fried rice - it's always weird chinky shit like eels or fried fish-head or jellied chicken feet. And what the fuck? - how do they somehow get food all over their faces?!?!? Their lips and entire mouth area always, always, always get covered in whatever they're eating - GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhh, and then there's the amount of time it takes!!! Ummm, do you have three hours free for lunch?? No? Then don't invite your chinese friends. Ok, so one time our four chinese TAs invited themselves to go to lunch with Brandon, Josh and me to a "fancy western restauarnt." Here's how this went down:

12:00 Arrive at the restaurant - the TAs FREAK OUT because of how fancy this restarant looks (it's similar to a "Sherrie's" which is super nice for China) and they start taking pictures of EVERYTHING with their three cameras (you know how Asians are). They pose for pictures with the salt/pepper shakers, then with the "pretty water glasses," the "non-smoking table" sign (they'd never seen one before), the silverware, the menus, the FREE napkins (free!! - holy cow!!!!) the flowers on the table and of course with the toothpick holder. This takes about 20 minutes. FML.

12:20 Choosing what to order from the menu: aparently the most difficult task they've ever completed in their LIVES. I think the TAs asked the servers over 100 questions EACH. By the time they ordered their food, we had been at the restaurant for AN HOUR.

1:10 Our food arrives - now the TAs have to spend 20 minutes holding up their plates of food and posing for photos.

1:25 Brandon, Josh and Mariel are done with our food and we've paid our bill - Chinese TAs are still taking pictures

-for the next HOUR we had to turn our heads away from the girls so we didn't have to see them eat. How do they take so f'ing long?!?!?! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I can't keep going - remembering this is probably giving me high blood pressure! This isn't an isolated insident either, we've gone out to eat with different chinese people TONS of times and it always takes tripple the amount of time that it should and always makes me want to puke. But, at least I don't have to do it ANYMORE!