Home again, home again

I went home to America for two weeks: the fastest two weeks of my life. I was totally in a daze as I went through American culture shock, visited my wonderful friends, ate LOADS of awesome food and soaked up weiner dog kisses. I’m still nostalgic about the whole trip!

So, when I went home I had only been out of the country for eight months but it really felt more like three years. Everything was freaking me out: the giant herds of WHITE people, blue sky, girls smoking cigarettes, blonde hair, smooth roads, sane driving, wheelchair access ramps, drinkable tap water, refrigerators that are bigger than 2 ½’ x 2’ – I haven’t seen any of these things FOR SO LONG! And more noticeable than anything… EVERYTHING IN AMERICA IS SO CLEAN! I could go on and on and on. It’s shocking how literally every aspect of life is different in America vs China.

Things that I now FULLY APPRECIATE about America:

American men are staggeringly gorgeous. They’re three times the size of a Chinese guy, they brush their teeth, they don’t all smoke, they clip their nails, they wear deodorant, they know how to drive and they don’t have mullets

You can trust the things you buy to actually be what’s advertised. If you buy a six pack of Corona in China, it’s not going to be corona. It’ll be some nasty, Chinese rubbing alcohol in yellow water. The packaging will be real (they “recycled” the bottles) but the beer wont be real. Fakes are even sold at the the big grocery chains like Walmart here.

America has Mexican food, Italian food, Chinese food, Indian Food, American food, we have everything. In China, there’s Chinese food and then there’s Chinese food and then there’s McDonalds. That’s all you get.

No smoking in restaurants/elevators/bars

Most Americans know better than to blindly and unconditionally love and admire the government

And uhhhhhhhhhh…. HUMAN RIGHTS

Seriously, I love America so much now!! When I come back to America, I think I’m going to start driving a massive F350 covered with “GOD BLESS AMERICA” and “These colors don’t run” stickers. Maybe I’ll buy a gun and Sarah Palin’s book too!