Melon (our favorite Chinese friend) was trying to say “SERVES HER RIGHT” but instead, she she announced “SERVICE HER RIGHT!!”
According to our Chinese friends, having sex makes a girl’s nipples turn brown. Apparently all virgins have pink nipples and “all married girls have brown nipples.” I guess this explains why there are nipple bleaching creams sold everywhere.
“what do you take me for? A foolish?” “Why do you treat me like a foolish?” –Melon
“BJ, BJ, BJ!!!!” Melon, our tiny, sweet, innocent friend started yelling “BJ!!!” over and over again on crowded street. We stopped from laughing long enough to ask her what she ment and she said that “BJ” meant “Bad Josh” and she was saying it because Josh was being mean to her.
Brandon, Nelly, Josh and I were stuffed into the back of a taxi and were FREAKING OUT because our driver had been driving THE WRONG WAY down a one-way highway for about six miles. The driver was swerving like crazy as we played chicken over and over again with semi trucks.
Melon: “Why you guys scared? He’s a good driver!”
Josh: “Yeah, he’s honking his horn and flashing his brights so there’s nothing to worry about”
Melon: “That’s right!”
Nelly and I were trying to think of pretty English names for my TA’s baby niece.. We came up with Emily, Cloe, Sarah, and Cassie when Margaret (our most retarded Chinese TA) butts in and says “Those aren’t real English names!!” Uhhhhhh, Nelly maybe a Russian and I may be a jew but I’m pretty sure we know what engish names are. I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP….
Margaret: “How about TeePee?”
Mariel/Nelly: “WHAT?!”
Margaret: Like the letters: T P. It’s very beautiful girl name
Mariel/Nelly: TP, as in Toilet paper?! That’s what we call Toilet paper!!!
Margaret: “No it’s not!! Ok, well how about Doodoo or Kiki?
Mariel/Nelly: Oh my god!
Margaret: Or GoGo
Mariel: A GoGo is a place where you go to see naked dancers
Margaret: No it’s not!!! Ok, how about Apple? I think that’s the most beautiful English name
Mariel: That’s the name of a fruit, not a person’s name!! Would it be ok if my Chinese name was ShungGeow (Chinese for Banana)??
Margaret: That would be ridiculous. Seriously, Apple is a really good English name!!!!!!!!!!!!
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